so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
