this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
