We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize