You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
