I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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