I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
