Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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