so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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