NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
