My pussy is not your playground.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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