I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
