I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
