This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
