i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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