We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize