I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
