put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize