There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
