i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
