Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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