Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
