It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
