Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
