Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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