just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
