I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
