wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
