we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize