He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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