i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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