She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
