Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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