she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize