Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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