do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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