Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
