I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My balls are so social today.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
