i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
