i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
