I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
