Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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