I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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