I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
