Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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