I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
