dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize