ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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