My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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