What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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