she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
