dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
