4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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