Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
