38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
