I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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