how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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