I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
