But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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