just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
