you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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